Robot Cat
At MarsCon in 2007 I performed this song at the Dementia Smackdown as a tribute to Logan who had passed away just three months prior.
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Lyrics
On Channel 27 at a quarter to three
I saw the craziest thing that I ever did see.
No cash, no check, no C.O.D.
so I called them with my credit card, quick as could be
Nobody better get in my way
I got the package in the mail today!
I popped all the bubble wrap and threw it away
now I'm learning Japanese so I can read what the instructions say
There was a bag of nuts and bolts and screws
it didn't say which screwdriver to use
I don't know what the radiation warning's about
but hey, that's okay, I can figure it out!
Four legs, rubberbands, sprockets, and gears
Laser beam eyes and microphone ears
Put it all together, what did I see
I saw a robot cat looking right at me
(chorus)
When I say ro, you say bot
Ro, bot, ro, bot
When I say bot, you say cat
Bot, cat, bot, cat.
Word to the R to the O to the B
to the OTC to the A to the T
So when I say Robot, you say cat
Robot, cat, robot, cat
Well, it slices, it dices, it catches the mices
It's got a stock ticker with the wall street prices
Knows how to sew, cook, play the guitar
say, it even put a new transmission in my car
It's got a titanium cranium, chip in the branium
Pentium? Best representium,
Pour in the eggs, milk, syrup, and flour
'cause the robot cat needs pancake power
One, two, three, and to the four
No doggy dog knockin' on my door
It's the postman bringing me a thousand more
because I'm building me an army and I'm going to war
This is my moment, this is my hour
the robot cat is my ticket to power
Better get ready for the cat invasion
world domination, that's the occasion
They're better, and stronger, and smarter, and faster
Soon everybody will be calling me Master
The humans surrender, and that'll be that
I'll say, "Welcome to the planet of the Robot Cat!"
[chorus]
[chorus]
