Songs

My Little Pwnage

For a long time I've been hearing about "bronies," adult men who watch My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic. I actually know a couple. But for some reason I never tried watching the show.

Fast forward to one of my Kickstarter campaigns where I offered to record songs on any topic for a certain amount of money and one of the guys who pledged at that level wanted a song about My Little Pony. So guess what I had to watch?

And you know what? It's a freakin' fantastic show. I haven't actually seen all of it yet, but I will eventually.

Lyrics

My little pony
My little pony
Ah ah ah ah

[chorus]
My little pony
I used to wonder what this show was about
My little pony
Until the day I had to check it out
My little pony
And to its awesomeness I can now vouch
My little pony
I can't get up 'cause now I'm one with the couch

[verse 1]
I once heard of the "brony"
A grown-ass man who watches My Little Pony
My own ass would never think the bronies were real
'Cause I didn't really ever see the pony appeal
And then I heard of the cons
A deranged group of nerds with their strange goings on
I don?t deeply understand what goes on in that world
All these creepy older men hanging out with little girls
(eww) But I was wrong with my assumptions, well
I don't think they're being sold off for slavery or something
No, there's a guy with his daughter and wife
He's dressed as Pinkie Pie, having the time of his life
(huh) Maybe it is a good show
The guy swears by it so I really should know
I started watching with the guys that Friday, then soon
I looked up and realized it was Monday afternoon
(chorus)

[verse 2]
In the land of Equestria
Live six pretty ponies and Princess Celestia
Who share with all their friends the good times they've had
And it's almost as intense as Breaking Bad
Twilight Sparkle is the new girl in town
Reporting back to the Princess all the gossip around
Rainbow Dash can fly high in the sky
So if it rains on your wedding day, now you know why
Pinkie Pie tends to get the great quips
But friends this is why you shouldn't eat paint chips
Fluttershy is like the Pony Whisperer
'Cause she gets other animals to only listen to her
Need a dress? Rarity can make it
Which is odd 'cause the ponies almost always go naked
And Applejack'll harvest all the fruit she can, though
I never trust a girl who solves a problem with a banjo
(chorus)

Kindness
Laughter
Generosity
Honesty
Loyalty
Magic
Profit!

[verse 3]
And now I can't get enough
So enchanted that I watch it while I do other stuff
Like on my day at the gym, or when I play on some teams
Or when I do it pony-style with the girl of my dreams
This show has so many layers
Don't listen to the dissers 'cause they're just neigh-sayers
Don't hate the players, don't even pay 'em no mind
Now I'm off to get a cutie mark tattoo on my behind
Friendship really is magic
And if you don't believe that, that really is tragic
It's not an illusion like the usual phony
Stuff from The Great and Powerful Trixie, or David Copperpony
So now I'm gonna holler
'Til I'm Guest of Honor at the Grand Galloping Galla
You should come see me soon and I'm-a yell for ya
At my upcoming gig in Phillydelphia
(chorus)

[end chorus]
My little pony
I used the Elements of Harmony to write this song
My little pony
And if you don't like this show, well you're just wrong
My little pony
I can marathon the show from beginning to end
My little pony
Don't you know you are my very best friend?