Songs

Stupid Rap Battles 2: Cheetos vs. L

I wanted to have something new to perform at MarsCon this year, and a new Stupid Rap Battle seemed to be the way to go. Since Starf was going to be at MarsCon as well I asked him if he wanted to do the song with me and this is what happened.

Chris Mezzolesta gets credit for coming up with "the second L in the Hollywood sign" as a potential entry.

lyrics, music: Devo Spice
vocals: Devo Spice and Starf
announcer: Chris Mezzolesta

Lyrics

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Stupid Rap Battles! In this corner, weighing in at 4.5 ounces, 140 calories, and with a Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price of seventy-five cents, it's a bag of Cheetos that got stuck in the vending machine. And in this corner, weighing in at three and a half tons, first erected in 1923, and has graffiti cleaned off it annually, it's the second L in the Hollywood sign. Begin!

Devo:
Well well well it's a stupid letter L
I thought it was a broken hash tag, it's hard to tell
And you've been standing out there for how long on that hill?
Wow, I bet your life has just been a series of thrills
I am a delicious little treat for the clan
You are just a blight on the sight of the land
And what you might not understand though it's true of you
Is that you're not even special because there's two of you
So shallow you are nearly two-dimensional
I can't believe that your construction was intentional
And I should mention, I wonder if attention's what you want
Why you're standing there showing off a boring-ass font

Starf:
As I stand here all majestic thinking what's that sound
I'm being mocked by a thing that got stuck falling down?
I think you underestimate a bit my total worth
I overlook one of the most famous cities on earth
You ain't even worth what they paid for you
Like a hooker who refuses to get laid for you
You're a tease showing off with the glass in between
Like a peep show hosted in a vending machine
You had one job, that's to come down off the shelf
If I were you I'd try not to draw attention to myself
You're hanging out too much like a man in Speedos
Just sittin' there like 'Durr, I'm a bag of Cheetos'

Devo:
People grab a pack when they want something to munch
I'm a tasty little snack with a satisfying crunch
And I will sit here and wait until my time has come
And someone's gonna feel great when they get two for one
you are pursued by hundreds of folks each year
And you fill each one with false hopes of a career
They will cheer when they see you as their dreams you enable
But they'll still be looking to you when they bus their table
You fancy yourself as some kind of a shrine
But you're just a stupid line that's part of a stupid sign
You call people to you like you're playing Red Rover
I hope a gust of wind comes and blows you over

Starf:
I'm a historical landmark, if I get defaced
I'll be hastily repaired, you'll just get replaced
You're a symbol of sloth along with chips and beers
I've been a symbol of art for more than a hundred years
Tempting folks to try to knock you down is pretty lame
Like a prize in the world's worst carnival game
You ripped someone off and don't even seen to care
You're nothing but fake cheese and some processed air
The worst feeling in the world is when you just want a snack
And it doesn't come out, and don't get your money back
Someone paid seventy-five cents? well that's nifty
But they won't do it again 'cause you ain't worth a buck fifty

Announcer:
Who won?! Who cares?! Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?!